Question: We are parents of a daughter who is engaged. We want her and her husband to enter marriage knowing how to handle money. How do we teach them God’s principles? Response: I suggest they see a trained financial counselor if at all possible (www.daveramsey.com or www.crown.org). If none is available, then help them work through “The total Money Makeover WORKBOOK” (Dave Ramsey) to develop a budget for their first year together. Next, have them demonstrate they both know how to balance a checkbook. Third, discuss the uses of credit and have them promise in writing not to use credit except for budgeted expenses that can be paid off every month—strongly suggest they do not go into debt to pay for their marriage ceremony. Last, have them agree to meet with you at least once a month for the first year to review their budget. By doing these things, you will provide them with good financial counsel. As Proverbs 19:20 says, “Listen to counsel and accept discipline, that you may be wise the rest of your days.” (Note: You can also suggest your daughter and soon-to-be husband become part of our “Financial Freedom God’s Way On-Line Academy” by checking out our website at www.christianfinancialministries.org. )
Category Archives: Husbands and Wives
Who Should Keep the Family Books?
Question: I keep the home financial records because I have more time than my husband. But I recently heard a Christian financial teacher say that the financial records are the husband’s responsibility. What do you think? Response: It’s been rightfully said that God usually puts opposites together. If a wife has the ability to manage home finances, there is nothing unscriptural about her doing just that. Both husband and wife should develop their financial plans together, however, so that she is not required to make all the decisions. If there are financial problems, especially delinquent bills, the husband should take charge and work out arrangements with creditors. As the authority in the home, he should bear the emotional pressures of creditor harassment. “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her” (Eph. 5:25). In the final analysis, if you’re the better bookkeeper, keep the books.
Working Wife
Question: I really want to be home with my children, but my husband wants me to work because he feels we need the money. I’m almost afraid not to work because we’re barely getting by. Your thoughts? Response: Here are some thoughts to prayerfully consider. (1) Many women with pre-school-age children are working for virtually nothing. By the time you calculate transportation, clothes, child care, eating out, etc., the wife must have a net annual income of about $18,000 to $22,000 a year just to break even. (2) If your husband insists that you work, clearly and kindly share and explain your objection; then respect his authority and do as he asks. However, if the decision to have you work is motivated by the desire to maintain a certain life-style, then you should know that more than likely within a year, you and your husband will tend to find yourselves dissatisfied with your life-style once again. (3) The real issue is to learn to be content with your present life-style/get help to learn to live on less than you make. “I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances” (Philippians 4:11).
Giving Arguments Between Husband and Wife?
Question: Bob, in your opinion will I be denying God if I don’t give to the Lord’s Work? I’m married to a really good man who is not a Christian. I’d like to be able to give to the Lord’s work, but he does’t want me to. In fact, our only arguments are about giving. And, if I decide to give, should it come from my income only and not from his? Response: God’s Word says, “Wives, be subject to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord” (Colossians 3:18). If your husband is not a believer and doesn’t want to give, in my opinion, you should not give. HOWEVER, I encourage you to “test” this opinion by (1) sharing Malachi 3:10 with him: “Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, so that there may be food in My house, and test Me now in this…if I will not open for you the windows of heaven and pour out for you a blessing until it overflows.” (2) Then ask him if you can tithe a small amount of money on a regular basis for one year with the condition that you will stop if your not better off financially at the end of that year. (According to the Bible, tithing in one area that we can “test” and trust Him and when we do He promises to prove Himself trustworthy.) (3) I strongly suggest that you do not categorize your incomes as “mine” and “his.” When you begin to split incomes, you begin to split families. Instead, make the commitment that it is all “our income.” It is all from the Lord and not from you or your husband, so you should treat it that way (Deuteronomy 8:17-18)
Joint or Separate Accounts?
Question: My wife and I are selling our house. We have been through some tough financial times. I am a planner and want to take the profits from the house and keep them in a joint account where we can use the funds to start generating future wealth. My wife wants to split the profits and put half into an account for herself that she can spend anyway she sees fit. My argument is that when God said two should become one, that meant share everything. I think that having two separate accounts goes against biblical teaching. What is your opinion? Response: In my opinion, having separate/exclusive accounts/assets isn’t what God had in mind when He set up the marriage relationship. The Bible teaches that husbands and wives are to be one (see Genesis 2:24). Couples should pool their finances and their bills and have a common budget and common goals. A short-term goal would be a consolidated budget; long-term would be things like college education for your children, getting debt free, and ultimately retirement. You can’t achieve these goals as long as your function like two individuals living together–that’s not a picture of a biblical marriage. I believe the Lord would have you and your wife mutually agree on how to manage ALL of your funds/assets. If you can’t agree on how to handle the profits from the sale then I suggest you first agree to pray together about what you are to do, then discuss what the Lord gives each of you—look for a way to compromise to meet her goals yet keep the accounts joint. If you are still in disagreement I suggest you seek some professional help (not friends) in your area. Suggest your pastor or perhaps a Dave Ramsey (www.daveramsey.com) or Crown Financial Ministries (www.crown.org) representative in your area. You must merge your finances and make a commitment to doing this God’s way or it won’t work. You can’t make a partial commitment.
Modern Mom
Husbands and wives: Question: I’m a Christian wife and mom who works outside the home. I enjoy my job, and I enjoy my home. But many friends have hinted that I’m sinning because I’m not home full-time. Does the Bible teach that wives should not work outside the home? Response: I don’t find where the Bible teaches that a wife cannot work outside the home, but I do believe the Bible helps us establish some priorities. For example, if a wife is working because a family “needs” the money, it’s a dangerous motive. I’ve found that until a couple learns to get along on what the husband makes, there will never be enough. Second, if a wife is working to fulfill her ego, this is also a dangerous and destructive motive and will often lead to divided loyalties between the job and home. Recall that Proverbs 31 describes the “excellent” wife. Verses 16 and 24 describe her business ventures as well as her household duties. She is described as a working wife and mom who is able to keep her priorities in balance. It’s this “balance” that helps determine whether or not a woman should work outside the home. Paul states in Titus 2:5 that women should be workers at home, subject to their own husbands. Since women are described elsewhere in Scripture as holding down job s outside the home, I don’t believe Paul is giving new counsel. He is simply stating that women should not neglect their family responsibilities by absorbing themselves in outside work, or even church activities. Here are some priorities for a working wife to prayerfully consider: (1) Gain her husband’s approval (Eph. 5:22). (This doesn’t mean that she nags him until he agrees.) (2) Her children are well cared for (Prov. 31:27). (Some children are ready for outside training at six, some at sixty.) (3) She maintains her home well (Prov. 31:15). (4) she can balance dual authority at home an on the job (James 1:8—not double-minded).